FUKQ Channel 02 News, the last speck of truth in an ever-expanding black void of liberal lies, has been proudly serving the residents of Foxworth a healthy plate of goodness for damn near 50 years.

Delivering the highest quality news possible is no easy feat in this day and age. We are constantly attacked by snowflakes and “whackadoodles” who have nothing better to do than waste their parent’s money on a college degree they’ll never use and harass good, hard-working conservatives who value freedom.

Fear not, we will never allow the Democrats, aka “Demon Rats”, to take hold of America without a fight. Foxworth is still strong and upholding the values that make America great. Lady Liberty smiles on us daily and through our faith in God and Trump, we shall be victorious in this war on freedom.

Your one and only trusted news source, FUKQ, will be your light. A bright and glorious light that will lead you to the truth. No need to think, just listen. We’ve got you covered, Foxworth. You’re welcome.