Boy this Attorney General Stuff is Getting Everyone’s Panties in a Twist!


So here’s the deal. Trump has appointed Whitaker as the new attorney general to oversee the never-ending Russia probe. Poor Session’s probing just wasn’t good enough and now Trump wants somebody new to probe. Hey- it’s important to spice things up and keep things interesting in the…..supreme court.

BUT but…and there is always a but, several people don’t want Whitaker to be attorney general and they’ll stoop to petty bs like bring up investigations that pertain only to their interests in order to stop him from being attorney general. But hey, this is politics! So anything normal or moral or sound does not apply. We don’t see anything wrong with Whitaker on the surface; he sort of looks like Mr. Clean’s half-brother if he was 10 years younger. That’s gotta be something right?

Apparently, some of the biggest critics of Whitaker being appointed is some dude named Barry Michaels who wants Rod Rosenstein to be attorney general. Barry Michaels is involved in some lawsuit “challenging a U.S. law that bars him from buying a firearm due to prior non-violent criminal convictions” and “decided to make Whitaker’s appointment an issue in their pending appeal before the high court because Sessions was named as a defendant in the case.”

No one’s ever heard of, nor do they give a shit about Rod Rosenstein or Barry Michaels, nor is anyone concerned about his BS lawsuit. And hearing about this retarded lawsuit we can only guess what type of non-violent criminal offenses this idiot was caught doing- was it selling weed to high schoolers? Stealing an old lady’s identity?

Anyhow, we imagine the NRA would be getting involved in this but they’re too busy helping people blow each other’s heads off. And wait, how did Sessions become a defendant in this nincompoop’s lawsuit? Oh, that’s right, it’s not that simple because this whole attorney-general-firing-Russia-probe is a convoluted clusterfuck of epic proportions and we’re not even sure if a Rhodes scholar could explain what is going on let alone the writer of this article.

But apparently this Barry Michaels loser and his lawyers believe that this dude Rosenstein should have been appointed attorney general, not Whitaker, because Whitaker will do what Trump wants like potentially fire Mueller, and ANOTHER state attorney general from Maryland ( a state no one cares about and most people don’t even know where it is) believes that Whitaker may lean in Trump’s favor in the “ongoing lawsuit” over Obama’s affordable healthcare law. (Poor Obamacare.

Never has a healthcare system made so many unhealthy). Well DUH! Of course, Trump would hire someone who would do things in his favor! But seriously how many lawsuits and investigations are going on under Trump? Does he like this shit? Is it fun for him? Who will he fire next? This is sort of starting to sound like a season on a bad soap opera.

Illustration by Kei Tran

Link to Original Article here.  

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